QUOTE FOR THOSE WHO CHERISH LIFE.

 NOTE: in my ESL page on FB, I often put a quote and an accompanying “read” (my own). This one, however, was so impacting and so present, that I felt it should be put in the blog. I don’t know how many people may read this, but even if only one does, it is worth it.

 QUOTE FOR THOSE WHO CHERISH LIFE.

It has been a long, work laden week, leaving little time for putting content on FB. However, we must finish the week “in style”. Today is a running commentary and longer than usual, and it will bring us to the quote itself. 

Once in a while, I watch excerpts of some of those global talent shows and did so this week just to get my mind “cleared” for a while. It was a lucky decision, for it brought on one of those rare moments in which someone truly touches your heart and gives a life lesson. 

Her name (stage name) is “Nightbirde”; she is thirty but looks twenty. A beautiful smile and radiating pure joy and happiness. Even through the small smartphone screen, she made one feel good. She had brought a song written by her called “It’s OK” and, when asked about it, she said it reflected the last few years of her life. The song was bouncy and haunting at the same time and talked about life and time, especially about accepting the reality of all that goes on in one’s life. When finished, the panel had several questions for her.

I can’t remember all that was said, I wish I could. She let them know the song reflected her constant fight with cancer. When asked about her current status, she revealed the presence of some cancer in her back, liver and possibly lungs. “So… you are not truly OK” said one of the judges in the panel. She looked straight at him, and responded –“it is important that people know you are much more than just the bad things that happen to you”. That was the first quotable comment she had. And by itself, it’s strong enough to impact. But there was more.

She then revealed she had been given a 2% chance of survival. At the “gasp” reaction of the panel and public, she added… “but 2% is not 0%... is much more!”

Wow! Talk about not giving up.

The judges in the panel did not fully understand how someone who is basically condemned to die by an unrelenting illness, could still be so full of smiles and -apparently- peace. So they asked her how could she be radiating so much joy and happiness in the midst of this reality, and she replied…

“YOU CAN’T WAIT UNTIL LIFE ISN’T HARD ANYMORE,

BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO BE HAPPY”

This comment friends, truly impacted me. Being a CA survivor, I know that attitude is a major part of the battle. But to be able to face life when all seems lost and give your best to remain positive and able to fight on, is a life lesson. Of the highest order. There is much to be learned from this wonderful, vibrant, and truly -in the best sense of the word- alive person.

I can’t add much. Except to say that we can truly be in control, when we decide to be so, of our lives when, and if, we choose to live it to the fullest possible. Not letting circumstances dictate to us how we react.

Have a Wonderful weekend… God Bless… 

REMEMBER to like and follow the page… share it with your friends.

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:

·        Pray for those who are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard, and counts!!   

·        Any comments please send to rjalcazar@gmail.com

MEMORIAL DAY, 2021

Today is Saturday. In truth a beautiful day, as days go. Sunny and warm, but not hot… there are several yard sales going on in the neighborhood, kind of like trying to get back into a quasi-normal lifestyle. But, no… I decided not to buy any more yards, since the one I already have is really giving me a run for my money trying to keep the grass down and the flowers up. 

Memorial Day is here and, as usual, many people are gearing up to having their barbeque ready for a cookout sometime during the three days. Most will give a passing thought to the reason for the holiday; some will take time and reflect on this and some, will only think of the hamburgers and/or chicken legs.

War is hell, somebody said wisely at some point. I am a veteran circa Viet Nam but was never on the front lines, shooting or being shot at. My closest work to this was being the point man on the riot control squad. We were involved in some minor action(s), since I was stationed on land that was considered then occupied territory from WWII. But I will never claim to be a front-line veteran; that would be insulting my fellow soldiers who were. And who in many cases paid the price for being there.

Where am I going with this? My efforts, as this is written, are geared to control my discontent and yes, true anger, at the message(s) put out by our current government. Apparently, one of the two highest ranking government members thinks this is a long weekend to take advantage of and “just have fun”. The other one is probably sleeping life away or trying to figure out where he is currently. 

I wonder how many widows and widowers, orphaned children, mothers and fathers and families who lost a loved one in service, will agree this is a weekend “just to have fun”. I do not care whether a war is “justifiable” (if ever one is) or not… These were men and women who answered a call to service, whether by being drafted or by volunteering, and who eventually paid the highest price for their responding to the call for this service to their country.

These men and women deserve nothing less than respect, honor and remembrance. Their families deserve nothing less than our gratefulness and our total and complete respect and support.

Apparently, some current government members think otherwise.

If you read this, please elevate a prayer on behalf of those departed men and women and their families. Don’t ever allow the present to ignore the past. No matter how much some people would like you to.

Be Well … Be Back!!! 

Final Notes:

·       Pray for those who are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard, and counts!!   

·       Any comments please send to rjalcazar@gmail.com

THE PRIVILEGE OF MAKING DECISIONS.

 

NOTE FROM THE “EDITOR-IN-CHIEF”. (also known as the the loud guy, janitor, gofer and overall do-it-all person)

As a language tutor, it is indeed my privilege to get to know my students fairly well, for most of the classes are on a one-on-one basis and it gives us ample face to face time. Also, some have been with me in one way or another or some time, so there is a friendly and trusting rapport which is established along the way. This, in turn leads the classes into occasional moments of quiet conversation or even guidance efforts (no, I am not a psychologist, just an old guy with a lot of years of people management experience) and with all the needed “caveats” in place, we talk.

This was the case this morning, in an individual class. I shared this in the school’s FB page and thought that it might be worth an inclusion in this hallowed (not “hollowed”) blog.

THE PRIVILEGE OF MAKING DECISIONS.

Very often we come to think, when a decision taken in best interests does not bring the desired results, that we are no good at making decisions, that we cannot hit a desired target even if it is huge and just a couple of feet away.

Don’t berate yourself; don’t put yourself into an “I’m no good at making decisions because they are all wrong” corner. We have all made decisions which have not brought the desired results. We cannot stop living at that point, we have to go on and continue to make choices and decisions.

Earlier today I was talking with one of my "senior" students and, as she was going on about some negative issues happening, she said "these are because of all my bad decisions along the way."

I just looked at her and said, "You know, there are no good or bad decisions, just decisions."

What do I mean by this? Whenever we make a decision, we make it based on the situation at the time, the information we have at that moment about that particular situation and our assessment then, as to what this decision will mean to us in a future time. 

No one EVER makes a choice intending for it to have a negative outcome. We constantly make decisions -some routine, some more life impacting- intending to have results which will bring us to a better place than where we stand at that moment.

The eventual outcome of any decision could be one of three: 1) a good outcome, 2) could be a “no change” outcome, or 3) could be negative outcome. If it is good; all is well. If it is indifferent, you may want to reassess the original decision and make another one at that moment. However, if the outcome has been negative, then you must go through a review of where you now are and make another decision to take a different or modified path in order to correct what has not worked. 

Does this make the original decision "bad"? No. Just means that it did not bring the desired outcome. That is all. Don't label yourself as a "bad" decision maker; this will create a very negative self-image and will seriously impair your ability to trust yourself in making choices in the future. 

Sometimes you may need a good friend or more experienced trusted individual to give you some guidance but, in the end, the actual decision will have to be in your hands, not someone else's.

Trust yourself; trust in the fact you are the best equipped person to make those decisions which will affect you. 

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:

·       Pray for those who are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard, and counts!!   

·       Any comments please send to rjalcazar@gmail.com

KNOW WHERE YOUR TRAIN (OR SHIP) IS GOING…

 There was this doctor I came to know while living in Chile for a year of Sundays, back in the 1980’s. That stay has been explored elsewhere in these meanderings, so I will just talk about the doctor, whom I will call Patricio (a good, solid name and not uncommon in Chile). He was a general practitioner and, as such, had been well recommended to us by a common friend. This turned out to be a good recommendation for he not only became our doctor, but eventually we struck a friendship with him and his family.

After some visits to his office, followed by the eventual striking of a friendly banter relationship, one day Patricio called me and asked whether we would like to come to their home for dinner with him and his wife. This was a way to formalize the friendship, as it were, for in Chile back then (God Lord, I’m beginning to sound like an old man… Don’t you say a word!!) society was managed by certain protocols; home invitations, when extended, were indicative of a desire to become better acquainted by allowing someone from “the outside” to come into their private home and personal realm.

Does it sound much too formal? To our current, overly relaxed parameters, it may be so. At that time, however, Chile’s society was in the process of readjusting to recently found freedom, for General Pinochet had been elected out of office (although by a small margin, he accepted this as the will of the people and stepped down) and many of the movement restrictions (especially in Santiago, the capital) and curfews had been lifted. Society was re-aligning its parameters of behavior, socialization and, in general terms, of life. But it was not an immediate mental and behavioral “herd” change; it took a bit of time.

Well, back to the visit. The appointed night arrived, and we left our children in the hands of a known babysitter, as we headed for the in-town home of our dear Dr. Patricio. What to bring with us was an easy to solve question. Chile has a well-known variety of high-quality wines, so it was one of these we brought with us. We arrived at the appointed time (no social time margins, for Chileans who -unlike their Argentinian neighbors- were time conscious) and were received by the Dr. and his wife Fernanda.

We were given the ground floor tour and, being winter, eventually made it to the living room, with an open fire chimney blazing and, where on the floor and to one side, were standing two open bottles of red wine, waiting for their time to be enjoyed. Patricio noted my inquiring glance and he said – “the bottles were being kept in a small cellar, and it is cold down there; we put the bottles here to bring them up to acceptable temperature for best notes”. There is a good wine culture in that country.

We had a good and ample dinner, where poultry was the primary element. It would then usually be this or sea-based fare. Beef was not a common element in those days for a) it was expensive and b) most people did not know how to prepare it well nor had a real taste for it. As an aside, in all of Santiago there were then only two beef restaurants. Of these, the British Pub was the only one where well-prepared beef dishes could be had.

We had finished dinner and aided by the second bottle of wine, were now engaged in full conversation. As it is usual on a first visit involving people from different parts of the world, the usual “tell us about your life” questions arose. We talked about Cuba, and the different places where we had lived since leaving (my then wife was also Cuban and had left the country as a young child with her mother) as well as places where we had visited and so on.

Then it was the good Doctor’s turn to talk. “We go to Chicago almost every year, for most of my relatives live in that area; I really only have a sister here.”. I then asked him how it was so. He looked somewhat wistful and went on with the story.

-“Our family came originally from the north of Germany.” – “Sometime back in the 1880’s -he continued- three brothers decided they wanted to emigrate to the new continent, establish a family and make a living here.”

“And how did you end here and all the rest of your family up in the States?” I asked.

He looked at me and said, “Our family, for the most part, was of humble origins; there were three brothers, my grandfather being the youngest.”

Then he continued “The two older brothers left first, leaving instructions (no smart phones back then…) for my grandfather to follow them when ready, to go to the port city and get onboard the ship that was going to America.”

“So he did” he continued… “about a month after his brothers had left, and after making ready, he went on to port where he was able to get -in exchange for work- a berth in a ship that was leaving for America”

Then he stopped for a moment, had a sip of wine, smiled and said “he never bothered asking where the ship was going, so no one told him its destiny was South America. Buenos Aires, to be exact.”

“Eventually he crossed over to Santiago and settled.” “And here we are.”

So, the moral of the story is… before you get on the train or, as in this case the ship, make sure you know it is going to the same place where you want to go.

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:

·       Pray for those who are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard, and counts!!   

·       Any comments please send to rjalcazar@gmail.com

Wally’s Pond. A Perspective for a New Year

 

It has been sometime since I last sat by the water at Wally’s Pond. For those of you who have not been to Wally’s Pond before (actually, you have all been invited … you just haven’t joined me), let me tell you that it is a placid, tranquil place where the water is clean and clear, the birds chirp, there are no outside noises and it never rains. And in case you have not guessed it, this wonderful place is in my mind; the place where I sometimes manage to hide for a little while from all the unwanted events that are happening around me. And God only knows there have been plenty of those resonating in the last few months.

At my age, it is an achievement of sorts to be able to get by without any medications at all. Or so the doctors tell me. Blood pressure, heartbeat, oxygen count … check. Cholesterol, a tad high … not enough to worry about it. Weight … being managed. Yes, a few too many apple pies with ice cream but, hey … if we have to go down, let’s enjoy it!! 

The only way all these several health fronts are being held in abeyance on a continuing basis, is by retreating occasionally to this place of calmness where nothing annoying is allowed. And believe me, this is no easy task when surrounded by family, inside and outside problems, phone calls, deadlines and, yes, a cat and a dog staying here for a while. Notice I did not include “work” in that list. Luckily, my work is very enjoyable, so it actually allows me some time away from the other issues. 

In any event, it is only fitting that during the early part of the year you will find me here. There is so much to think about, so many knots to try and unravel. The funny thing is that, after sitting down at the water’s edge for a while, the knots begin to unravel without much effort and the view begins to clear.

Does this mean that there are now answers galore, where there were nothing but questions before?

No. Not really. What it means (to me, at least) is that perhaps all those issues clouding my mind are being shown to be not so important. That perhaps I can’t answer or solve all the problems of the known universe around me, that there are many of these that are within the purview of others and not mine to deal with.

Eventually, when this truth becomes clear and it is accepted, there comes a moment of calm and of understanding. Understanding that tells me that, no matter how much I may try to solve someone else’s problems, if the root of the problem within that person is not corrected by that very individual (something no one else can do for him/her) it will just grow and flourish again, and again.

It also becomes apparent that there are issues and shortcomings within myself I can correct and others which I may not be able to. The first batch will be dealt with, as quickly as possible. As far as the second batch, I must learn to accept them and work with them; to make them as least intrusive as possible, as time and self-awareness may allow this to be done. 

Finally, there are those other always present and “looming” issues which, after some scrutiny, are shown to be non important. Guess what? They immediately go into the disposal area of the mind, to be forgotten.

So, do you understand just how important is this pond to my own mental health? Not to mention keeping that blood pressure and heartbeat in check. Try it sometime. Find a spot where you can get away within yourself, even for a few minutes; whether you call it meditation or simply mental wanderings with a purpose, it will work wonders for you.

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:

·       Pray for those who are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard, and counts!!   

·       Any comments please send to rjalcazar@gmail.com

WHAT WILL IT BE?

 Today is a sunny and cold day in January… I sit here to write a post and frankly, there are no ideas floating in my headspace or, for that matter, in cyberspace. I look and listen to the sounds around me and these bring no help. I don’t know whether to write about a sometime ago memory from my past, like those memories which were the beginning of these posts, or to write about what is happening in this crazy world of ours …

 Sometime later in the day…

Hmmm… this attempt at writing a posting began some 8 hours ago and I can’t say it got very far. In fact, it got nowhere… 

So, what do you say to exploring an almost forgotten moment (probably an intentional subliminal erasure attempt) … London, spring 2002 or thereabouts. I had been there, stuck, for some three months. And when I say “stuck”, take it at face value. The transaction we had worked on and hoped would come about, failed to materialize like many others in this long, drawn out affair. I had just come out of a long stay in Portugal and was supposed to continue on, to come back home. As we (my wife had come to accompany me back home) were getting ready to leave, a phone call came in and it changed our (my) plans. A transaction we had been working on had come back to life, and someone (and since I was already there…) was needed in London to see it through.

It is easy to look back now and ask the questions that should have been asked then … Really? … Again?... Now? … What are the guarantees? At that moment there were several reasons, not all valid reasons, but reasons nonetheless not to ask these simple questions for, in giving and getting an honest answer, I would have fled; all the work and sacrifices would be shown to have been in vain. Somehow I was not ready for that unveiling just yet.

My wife went on home; I remained ensconced in a small hotel in the Kensington area; this has been talked about before, so it won’t be rehashed here (yes, one of the previous blogs, somewhere, deals with this stay). I will, instead, try to go further into the reasons. This is a topic which 20 or so years later, still bothers me. And, as said before in similar circumstances, writing has a cathartic effect sometimes…

Life is a tough, unforgiving master. It sees all and hides nothing. Nor will it allow one to hide anything under a rug; real or imaginary. Sooner or later, one must face the monster. In this case, said monster being a set of memories.

Wait … it is time to go get a glass of wine. These memories need some mental “grease” to squeeze through…

The decision to stay was pushed by several factors. We had come into this international financial world as “newcomers” a few years back. In the ensuing restrictions and pivotal changes following the 2001 Twin Tower attack in NYC, we lost everything. But there were still commitments we had to meet; from a legal standpoint (as was later supported) we had done all we had set out to do; the losses had been the consequences of events over which we had no control. But, at the time of the “stay in London call”, we were still very much obliged to explore all possibilities to make good on our commitments. And the bridge between myself and the possible solution(s) that might allow us to meet those commitments, was the voice on the other side of the call.

So, a badly thought-out decision was made, and I stayed back “to make things happen.” Except that the supposed other parts in this process did not have the same ideas.

Nothing happened (again) as far as the transaction which was ready to be “retaken and completed”. This left me stranded in London, not a lot of money in my pockets and without a way out. It became a several months stay; I got to know London very well, in a visceral kind of way. No tourist traps in that trip. Thanks to a friend in Canada who was able to send me some funds once in a while, I was able to survive.

That trip collected a very high personal toll. On several levels it was a repeat issue but, this time, it -along with some health issues brought on no doubt by the high level of continued stress- became the catalyst which forced me to begin the long and difficult road of facing the realities of the previous years. The wrong decisions and the cost of it all. Not only financial; the very real cost of having to re-start a personal life, away from all this and accepting that it had been -other than experiences gained- a waste of precious time but, most importantly and sadly, a waste of years in a relationship which had barely started when we embarked in this journey.  

Anyhow, a moment in time. Brought to you courtesy of a good 2017 Merlot … and several years of introspection and acceptance… 

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Censure. Why we cannot tolerate it.

 As those of you who have been with me since the beginning of this somewhat currently derailed journey know, my arrival in this country at age 15 was due to an abysmal change of fortune in my home country, Cuba. You also know I have mostly stayed away from politics in these posts. What happened there and the ensuing and ongoing disaster, can only be understood if you have lived through a forced transition like that.

Once the Castro govt. was fully in charge, then began the abuses and the intolerance to all who dared express an opinion not favorable to said government. Jail was the least of the problems, to this one had to add loss of jobs to your family, being publicly ostracized, beatings by random assailants, possible death once jailed, being forced out of your own home, and the list goes on.

Roll forward 60 years. We have just gone through a most shameful excuse for an election in this, our adopted country. Today (1/20/2021) a new president-non-elect was inaugurated. Someday, when real and straightforward historians look back on these times, the truth shall win out.

Today, we are living in an environment where all those issues mentioned in the above paragraph are present. Censure, ostracism, abuses by random people to anyone who might be of an opposing view, loss of jobs, calls by elected officials for harsh punishments if you do not agree with their government, etc. And these, BEFORE the government in question took over. If that has been the case, what awaits in our future?

A police-state? Where anyone who dares raise a discordant voice is to be silenced, no matter what? Where the rights of the individuals are to be totally trampled so as to satisfy the wants and needs of a group of megalomaniacs who control the major corporations managing our lives, and whose thirst for power and greed of money know no limits or restrictions?

The press openly restricted any and all news which might have been favorable to the prior president, or unfavorable to their favorite. Social media silenced all voices which spoke of a truth different than that fabricated one, parroted by their minions; so blatant was the censure that the sitting President of the country was effectively banned from these platforms. And those alternate platforms which allowed all voices to be heard, were forcibly silenced by those in control.

I have not seen this blatant abuse since Castro’s Cuba. I have not seen this unmitigated censorship since Castro’s Cuba, where all dissenting media (paper, tv and radio) was melded into one government-controlled platform. Ironically, over here there is no need to do this. That controlled platform already exists, for the vast majority of the so-called mainstream media is controlled by a handful of oligarchs who are the primary financial force behind this whole process. What they dictate the editing policy to be, is what it is. No one inside can dissent and keep their job. It has been shown already, except for a few commentators who have a huge following and, for now, can express an opinion not in accordance with their owners’ positions.

It is a sad commentary that a country founded on the precept of the individual as the bedrock of its system, and which has very successfully maintained that practice for over two centuries, is now on the brink of falling into an abyss under the guise of the “what is good for a majority, is good for all” lie. Especially when those few at the top have put themselves into a position of what is they perceive, based on their own agenda, to be better for “all”.

Censorship is the end of ideas, of free thinking, of expression, of everything we hold dear. It is a means to force the general populace into a non-thinking attitude where most can be manipulated and yet, it is only the tip of an iceberg which will destroy all in its path. Regardless of financial or human cost.

I pray to God I am wrong. Yet, having lived through it all before, I find it hard to believe I’m very far from those fears in our present reality. 

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:

·       Pray for those who are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard, and counts!!   

·       Any comments please send to rjalcazar@gmail.com