Sunday, August 19, 2012

Saturday Night with the “In-Laws”


It had been a long time since I had a family (of sorts) dinner reunion…

-“When we get to Miami, we will get together with the new In-Law branch… they really want to meet you…” said my wife, as we were getting into the car, ready for a 12 hour drive.

There are cultural differences among all our societies, including groups which come from the, supposedly, same background. It has been said that Latin America is a compendium of countries divided by a common language; it happens to be (with the exception of Brasil) the same language for all… Spanish. Each country -and often parts of each country- has its own inflections, pronunciations, accents, sayings, words of popular misuse… all in all, we barely get to understand each other.

I have been away from my country of birth for half a century, time which has been spent mainly in this US of A, where its mores, customs and culture have been mostly assimilated by yours truly, putting what was left of my own childhood background well into the back of my mind and persona … Please understand… I love my country of birth, Cuba, and its culture… just that after so many years of being away from this mélange, whenever I find myself submerged in it, it all tends to be a little overwhelming at times.

We gesture, we yell, we scream, we embrace, we kiss, we insult each other… we waive our arms like windmills and this is all while we are simply saying hello… What comes after is a true tour de force in how to hold 6 conversations at the same time, on 6 different subjects and every one involved is speaking louder than the next person… what tends to be troublesome in this scenario, is that everyone understands the other five people and actually keeps up with whatever that particular individual is saying…

It’s actually scary, no???

As Saturday night wore on, some of the children went into their own version of screaming … one because the other had something he/she wanted and the other one because he/she had something the other wanted. And they are both afraid that if he/she doesn’t scream just a little louder, then the “other” will win out.  Confusing? No, not really… I think…

Just early life training for budding vocal chords…

Our Caribbean culture is such that we do not stay still, nor do we go gently and quietly into the night. We are indeed boisterous and loud… yet we can be very gentle and very loving as well… We can yell into your face… I WILL KILL YOU UNTII YOU DIE!!!… then cry with you if someone close is hurt… Paradoxes and contradictions; redundancies, complexities and simplicities, all rolled into one package.

As I lived through the night’s get together of these three generations (mine being the oldest… and not necessarily the quietest!!) mostly enjoying the noise, the decidedly Cuban meal, the children running upstairs and downstairs, the folks in one room talking (rather loudly) with folks walking around or in the other room… didn’t make any difference the receiving party was not there, in front of the talking party…  the old time music courtesy of You Tube which brought on a bit of dancing (no self respecting Cuban will have his partner at hand and let a good piece of music go by unattended)… it then came to me that this is really what gave me the base to become whatever I am today.

Of course, added to this was a heavy dose of family upbringing… as most of us have had.

It comes to me that I don’t really want to be someone else; it is “I” who sits here and writes these entries. They would not be possible if it was someone else sitting here at the computer and banging these very keys… different lives, different experiences, different pains and joys… a different result altogether.

Each one of us is real and is kind of unique; it is not an issue of better or worse, just of being different. Learn to enjoy those differences that make you into who you are… and allow the differences of those around you to enhance your everyday experiences.

It is life’s gift to each of us.

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:
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