Why is it so difficult sometimes to just sit
and begin to clatter away at the computer keys?
The stories at the beginning
of this blog centered around the time and circumstances leading up to my
departure from Cuba, at age 15. These were followed by short recounts of my
life as it developed during the first few years in my new country and these, in
turn, with memories of people, places and moments that have been a part of my
life before, and since my coming to the US.
The time around the
trip to come to the US is worthy of a book in of itself and, in fact, 2 or 3
books have been published by “Pedro Pan” children. To me, writing about it was
a way to pass the convalescing time after my cancer treatments and hip surgery,
and also -perhaps the bigger reason- to leave something my children might
someday read. Not necessarily because of its literary value, mind you… but because
it was the story of someone who should have been a larger part of their adult
lives but who, for reasons real and/or enhanced, has not been.
My son Eric, before
he died, did read a good number of the entries. He was an avid reader, he was
totally curious, and he told me he had enjoyed the read very much. I am still
flattered by his assessment, since he was a critical person of what he didn’t
like and would have told me (yes, he
definitely would have) had this been the case.
I have come to my
virtual pond of relaxing… Wally’s Pond. I need its help in thinking through my
next direction in writing. You see, over the 400 or so entries in the blog,
there have been intimations at times about what happened during my attempts to
pursue the international investment business; the hopes, disappointments, financial
losses and time gone. Especially this last. In the end, even if there were to
be results, that time lost and the personal losses that have resulted from it,
are irrecuperable.
About two to three
weeks ago, I began to gather my memory trigger notes and to put them on some
paper. Then, after much thinking, the story began to slowly unfold. It hasn’t
gone very far yet, mind you, and it’s proving to be difficult to develop. There
is much sadness, pain, and memories which -if given the option- I would rather
leave in a dusty bin somewhere. But then, it would not be an honest recount.
Also, I am not very
good at writing “long”. I envy those who can author a book; beginning at the start
of the story, going through the middle and somehow, finding their way to an
end. I know my thing is the very “short version” of a story. One, two or three
pages … but there is a lot to write about on this matter. After thinking, a possible
answer came to me: write short chapters; sort of an ongoing blog, with all
entries interrelated and in the right order. I tried this, and it seems to make
it a bit easier.
The next and more
difficult question is: Am I ready to put this out there for all to see? The
honest answer… “I don’t know”. Even after all this time (20 years from that first meeting when and where it all began),
there are still unfinished business and issues to be resolved. I will continue
to write it and, if my heart doesn’t totally shrink, you may start to see a
chapter from time to time appear on this blog.
We’ll see how it goes…
I think I’ll put my shoes back on and head home… it’s getting late in the day…
Be Well … Be Back!!!
Final
Notes:
· Pray for those who are fighting an illness
which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard, and
counts!!
· Follow us on Twitter … @RJAsPandora
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