“For me, a very definite change
of attitude is that I have come to understand that it is my duty to take care
of my own needs before taking care of the needs of others, including those who
may depend on me. This is a simple statement; but its profound meaning and
ramifications have taken me a lifetime to grasp and accept.”
The
above is an excerpt of a blog entry written some 8 years ago, while undergoing
the healing process from my bout with cancer as well as from the first of two
hip replacement surgeries. Why look at it again now? Two reasons: first, I am
in the middle of a general review, trying to choose entries to include in a “compendium”
which may (or not??) come out in printed
form and, second, this entry was recently used as a reading exercise in one of
my English classes. So, it was fresh in my mind.
The over-all
consensus on reading and discussing the content was that yes, a person in order
to give must have something to, well, give. Cannot offer much -positively, that
is- when there is nothing but emptiness, frustration or anger inside.
My
thoughts those years ago were most likely influenced by then recent events to
include illness and personal issues which, at the time were unsolved and
weighing heavily on my day to day life. Having said the preceding, I’ll add that
there has been sometime spent during the last few days reliving those feelings
as they were then, vs. what their evolved version may be today. Being now eight
years later and hence, eight years older.
From
a vantage point of those added years and with a much cooler and more stable viewpoint
(I hope!!) as well as being (thankfully!!) in different health and
financial circumstances today, I will still hold fast to those thoughts as
expressed then.
I
have met many whose primary and sometimes only goal in life, is to make money
in order to have “things” with labels on them. To this group, approval from
others is important. I have noticed that most of these folks (please understand, it is not my intent to
place a tag of “good or bad” people) can only share money or “things”. And
when money and/or material possessions are not present there is a tendency to
feel out of place; of not being worthy.
I
have also met many others who have much less money and, hence, much less in the
way of “things”. Families who make enough to keep a roof over their heads and
put food on the table. Yet, have joy and love to share amongst themselves and
with those around them. Their values are based not on the material things, but
on an outlook which will help them go through the day and enjoy what they do
have rather than suffer angst over what others may consider as a lack.
Is
either path the better one? I really still do not have an answer which may be
considered definitive. I don’t really believe anyone has that answer. We can
only give what we have and think along the lines we have each learned to
follow. There is a line from a song which in Spanish is called “El Pequeño
Burgués”, and the line goes something like this:
“If your values are spiritual, you may get to
reach The Almighty; If your values are centered around money, you may go as far
as the nearest bank”.
In my
own case, over the course of a lifetime there were moments I have had, and moments
when I have lacked. I have also found that the values and strengths which helped
me get through some of the most difficult moments of my life (to this point…) had nothing to do with
money. And much to do with experience, faith, commitment and an unending desire
to not give up. To get over whatever it was and to move forward. And with the
people who meant much to me and who cared about me.
I can
only speak for myself. How about you?
Be
Well … Be Back!!!
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