REFLECTIONS HOW DO YOU SAY GOODBYE? How do you say goodbye to someone you have seen only once in more than sixty years? We suffer from a distancing malady that slowly -probably as an act of self-defense- dissipates old memories to make room for whatever life throws at us next. Survival requires it. The encroaching threats, the shocks, the small and not-so-small traumas… memory filters them, dulls them, hides them. Yes, we are human. A trite excuse, but true, nonetheless. We carry our mix of failures, successes, foibles, and -why not say it?- the downright foolish behavior we’re capable of when anger, resentment, or insecurity take control. But, I digress … as usual. In May of 1962, I left the island-nation where the entire kaleidoscope of the first fifteen years of my life had been colored and shaped. I never returned. At first, I couldn’t. The government that drove us out made sure of that. Later, I was welcomed back -along with my MC/Visa/AMEX, of course. But by t...

                                                         DO NOT BE AFRAID OF FAILURE. BE TERRIFIED OF REGRET. MY TAKE Today’s quote comes from Ms. Deshauna Barber. She is a successful life coach and motivational speaker. From early on, she realized this had to be a way of life for her. After failing to win her state’s beauty pageant in six tries, she refused to give up and was crowned in 2016 as Miss D.C., then as Miss USA. She did this while studying for her degree and serving as a US Army Reserve Officer. This quote resonated with me, for it represents one of two primary messages I try to convey through most of these postings: The first one being “Failure is just a stepping stone to success.” You know why this message is so important? When we fail, this failure just tells us that we are trying something that...

  THE PRIVILEGE OF MAKING DECISIONS. Very often, we come to think, when a decision taken in the best interests does not bring the desired results, we are not good at making decisions, that we cannot hit a desired target even if it is huge and just a couple of feet away. Don’t berate yourself; don’t put yourself into an “I’m not good at making decisions because they are all wrong” corner. We have all made decisions that have not brought the desired results. We cannot stop living at that point; we have to go on and continue to make choices and decisions. Earlier today, I was talking with one of my "senior" students and, as she was going on about some negative issues happening, she said, "These are due to all my bad decisions along the way." I just looked at her and said, "You know, there are no good or bad decisions, just decisions." What do I mean by this? Whenever we make a decision, we make it based on the situation at the time, the information ...

  THINKING OUT LOUD At fifteen, everything I had known -every person, every routine, every piece of the life I understood- suddenly turned into memory. Today, sixty-four years later, at the prime age of almost eighty, those early memories blend with all the others collected along the way. Fifty countries visited. Four that became home. Another four that could have been. Laughter. Tears. Joy. Sadness. Friends made, Friends lost. Three marriages. Money gained, Money lost. Successes. Failures. It has been a long, steep, often difficult learning curve -yet always a fascinating one. What I have learned, alongside the simple truth that people are people everywhere and that we mostly differ in the spices we cook with, is that perspective shifts with time. Appreciation deepens. What mattered once no longer carries the same weight, and what once felt trivial now feels essential. Information changes. Thinking evolves. And looking back, I find my thoughts drifting t...

This post will mark a new beginning.  It's been close to 3 years since the last post, and I aim to correct that! Many things have happened since then.  A major push on my <www.facebook.com/englishnowclasses> page, which is nearing 28,000 followers in several countries. An increase in the number of students. This issue has taken a lot of my time.  I say so gratefully! Some health problems, now overcome. So, I am ready to ROAR! and will be posting new material every week. Some are stories, some are memories, some are reflections, some are short notes, some longer posts... a little bit of everything. I hope you accompany me on the new version of this blog; we will both enjoy the ride! Back Soon! RJA