STRENGTH IN DIGNITY

 REFLECTIONS

If everything you offered was not enough,
then offer your absence.
That may be the greatest act
of dignity and self-respect.

— Mario Benedetti

MY TAKE:

Life is an ongoing journey; it covers byways, paths, goes on bridges, and into tunnels. But always, at some point, these divergencies return to the main road. The one we started on, the moment we were born. As some may say, the one we were destined to travel.

Every step on this road represents an effort. One already expended, or one that is to be gathered. Not one single step we take, at any given time, is free of this expenditure.

We are aware of this, although there will be moments when we just take the steps and do not spend much time considering the efforts made. We want to go somewhere. We convince ourselves we need to get there, even if it means running a deficit we will only notice later. There are moments in life when we will pursue a dream, not caring about much else. 

You, who are reading this, realize that the energy we talk about is not necessarily physical energy. Yes, of course, it takes this type of energy to get from point “A” to point “B”. But this one is easily replenished. The other one, the one we often spend recklessly, is not so easily recovered. In fact, there is a point in that deficit scale where it becomes almost impossible to do so. 

I am talking about our emotional energy. The one inner fuel that defines and drives who we are and what we choose to do.

There are phases in our lives when, in the pursuit of that almost impossible dream, we simply give away an enormous amount of this precious fuel. And we don’t even realize this. Often, until it is too late.

It could be the pursuit of an idea we are sure is the perfect one. Or it could be the well-intended pursuit of someone we are sure to love and with whom we would like to start a relationship.

What happens when we have given so much to this unachievable goal that we have naught left for ourselves?

Sadness, dejection, mental and physical tiredness, self-deprecation, feelings of unworthiness. Loss of our own dignity and self-awareness.

After all is spent, there is little more left than an empty vessel, internally hollowed out.

Before we get to this empty level, we must stop, look at ourselves, and see what is left there and whether what we are pursuing is worth all we are and have. Walking away is not a sign of weakness, not a sign of defeat.

If we have given all, if we have honestly done all we could do and have received little or nothing in return, it may take whatever courage remains to make that decision. But make it we must. When our presence is no longer wanted or respected, that decision is our last honest action available.

We fought, we tried, we gave it all, and we lost.

We are stronger, not for losing, but for having risked ourselves and our emotional energy, for this energy is essentially who we are.

Life is a constant risk. Sometimes we achieve, sometimes we don’t. We win and we lose. But our character is defined by how we assume that unforgiving risk that requires our true commitment. 

Strength in knowing we gave all and were able to -in the end- step away.

Strength in dignity.