According
to the Thesaurus, the word “musings” has several synonyms, all of which have to
do with the action or concept of thinking without a definitive direction flow,
of letting “things happen”. Apparently, the original home of the “what ifs”.
I must
admit this limbo-like mental state is one in which I find myself immersed occasionally.
Sometimes by my own choice, sometimes by circumstances’ choice. During these
periods I tend to do my most creative thinking; note I do not say “productive” thinking.
Then again, the definition of “productive”
is best left to the eyes of the beholder.
These are
the times I think about someone like our friend Cheíto, how he would react to a
given situation. Then I wonder about what this reaction may, when I put it into
his words, say about me and my own thought process. These are the times I allow
my mind to roam in the near and far past to re-discover moments that can be
shared with you, moments which allow me to live -one more time- the joy and
happiness of a long ago experience. Sometimes, however, those occassions and
memories that are brought back, are painful “to the touch”. But these are very real
as well and they are all an important part of a woven silk cloth, which cannot
be easily unraveled.
Today,
Easter Sunday, I am sitting at my computer and looking through a small window out
to the street. It’s sunny out and there is a lot of green, beautiful spring
green that can be seen. On this, my side of the window, there is a large green
plant which is living one of its good moments. I look at it, and through it,
and can see not a street, but a somewhat diffused Wally’s Pond surrounded by
green grass, flowering bushes and fresh budding green trees. That’s where I am right
now.
Many
thoughts come and go; many curves, mountains, detours and side roads of what is
by now a 72-year-long highway, come to pass through these mental portals. It’s
like watching a well-preserved old film. Yes, there are creases and crevasses;
there is flickering and there is bad color in some parts. But it’s all there.
Well, insofar as I remember it all to be. I am sure that some details are now
lost in that vast ethereal memory bin which collects all the lost memories; there
to be kept and saved for… Whom? Or, What?
The last blog
entry which came out of Wally’s Pond, dealt with the concept of obstinacy. Not
deeply dealing with it, but as it has affected my life and the life of those
around me for these 20 some years. I must admit the piece elicited much
response. Some from long time friends who have been there for always, seems
like; some from people who make it obvious they do not really understand what
it was all about but were curious; and some from a few who simply stated with
all the aplomb in the world, that I was a fool. To these last I simply say that,
obviously, all fools are entitled to their opinions.
Then, there
was a note written by a long-ago friend, from whom I had not heard in almost ten
years. He was a sometime companion in the early goings of this long and twisted
road. I was able to contact him in Europe (not
difficult, his note included a phone number) and we had a good talk. Turns
out he remained on this road as well, on a part-time basis, with a small modicum
of success. He has married and has a small girl. We shared some long-ago
memories and he told me that I was “very brave” in putting these issues on the
blog. I am not sure about the “brave” part, since I look at this blog as a
sharing experience and almost a catharsis. We agreed there had been very difficult
personal moments but also some incredibly uplifting experiences. So, that entry
regained for me a contact I thought long lost. That is a good outcome.
And the
note from a dear friend who simply told me that “obstinacy” is in the eye of
the beholder. A thought with which I totally agree.
Musings
from Wally’s Pond… a way for me to communicate with my inner self and its long-ago
travelled roads.
It helps me understand, and deal with, the present in a better, more personal, warm way.
And this
is not a bad outcome either.
Be Well … Be
Back!!!
Final Notes:
· Pray for those who
are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every
request is heard, and counts!!
No comments:
Post a Comment