Keeping Straight...

OK, Ok… no more mind bending stuff … for a couple of days anyway. Have a couple of issues which are nagging at the back of my head (seems the front is otherwise occupied) but some research has to be done. Not much, mind you, but some…

When friends with whom you have shared part of a lifetime read some of the issues presented in these posts lately, the reaction is to call and ask… “Are you OK?”  “What is this about death and myths and all this stuff?” “Are you sure you are OK?”… Since the caller was someone who has been a part of my life for over 50 years (wow…!! times do fly when you’re having fun… and even if you aren’t), I was touched by her honest concern. Then, we have had long years during this period of time when there was very little, or no contact.

When two (or more) people were an important part of each other’s lives as young teens (as is the case here) and then shared different moments in life during the passing of the years, the very human tendency is to think about this other individual in an almost wistful way; how is it we remember him or, in this case, her? The usual manner is to do so as we knew them then, not really allowing for the changes which do occur during time’s never ending advances. This is part of our mind and how it works; we remember occasions, people, places and circumstances as they may have been at one time, those moments during which they touched our lives. We do not allow for changes because, simply, we may not be aware of these and in the event we were, and these changes have not been –from our viewpoint- for the better, then our subliminal self tends to steer us to the older picture we have in mind.

That childhood cabin doesn't
look quite the same anymore

 Not too long ago there was a posting that was brought on by an unexpected picture I happened to catch in Google Earth. This is a very example of those changes that are brought on by the passing of the years and the almost shocking reaction they can produce on us. The family business, a rum factory, was a very important part of my childhood. Time was spent there; first, play time and fun time as a child and, later, work time as a young teen. To me, this place was bigger than life; there were patios, warehouses and what seemed to be an infinite number of places in which to hide and from which to play tricks. Then, we lost the factory to the government and it, eventually,     

                                                was abandoned.

As the years of neglect passed, the building began to crumble in places and the once proud façade, which at one time announced to the world that the very best rum was produced inside (actually, it beat out that other bat faced rum –no names please- in several expos in Europe) became but a forlorn, chipped and sad visage of times past. The picture was a shock to me… I always remembered the place as bigger and with a very clean and bright front, the big double doors opening to allow the discharge of trucks bringing the stuff needed to make the different beverages. Now it looked small and it seemed to have accepted (if a building can do so) a foregone end… But never in my mind and heart, where it will always be what it was in the 1950’s.

As the seasons change, so do we

 So, do we as people change as drastically as time passes? Some will, some will not. Yes, the physical aspect will of course show the passing of the years, but I think we are looking more at the internal aspects of the person, that which makes him or her what he or she is. Do these change as well? I think so; perhaps not as drastically, unless there have been extreme influences along the way. I do not refer here to changes brought on by these extremes, but to those influences and experiences which may be called “normal living”. My take on life –and I can only truly speak for my own and then with reservations- is that we evolve with the passing of time and the experiencing of many issues along the way.

It becomes a cumulative effect over the years; sometimes these experiences are on a first person basis, other times they come to us as second or even third person experiences. Some of them through people we barely knew; we look at these as “interesting circumstances” because they happened to others with whom we are really not well acquainted… perhaps the ones most influencing outside of our own, are felt through the living experiences of our loved ones; especially if these have brought pain and suffering with them.

We can just sit and wait

Mentally and emotionally, we grow or shrink with the passing of life and time; this is an inevitable choice we must make almost on a daily basis. We either accept the changes that living creates in us and remain in a young mental state so we can best tackle every day living, or negate these realities and sort of wander into an existential oblivion. So, when my dearest friend calls me and asks… Are you OK?... she is really asking that from the person she knew very well sometime ago, not really thinking about those intervening years and the many, many experiences which shaped or, better, reshaped that person into what he (me) is today. By the way, she is also now a very different person as well… and just as dear as she was then.

Am I a better or a worse person? Not sure if either; just an older, perhaps not a lot wiser but definitely a more mature person who, at the core of his being remains a very similar entity, for these values really do not change much (again, barring extreme circumstances along the way); my perceptions and reasoning have evolved over the years and she is right, that person she knew years ago probably would not have been able to write some of theses posts but this person, aided by those experiences lived over the years can and will, and then some…

Or we can leap into the future...

 So, worry not my dear lady… As you have grown and evolved into a beautiful person, so  am I well and growing; hopefully will continue to do so until that moment in which my time is called to be elsewhere which, due to the fact there are gazillions (??) of things I need to do here yet, I do hope won’t happen for quite a while…

Please remember to say a prayer for those who are fighting an illness just to stay on and share their lives with their loved ones…

Be Well… Be Back!!