Pandora's Other Box

A visit to this mind sanctuary is long overdue to help with a bit of reflection, and perhaps also to help a sometimes-over-busy mind cope with the demands of day to day business. It has been one of those sequences of days when unresolved and unexpected issues come and queue up at the door, just like patrons at a post office line on a busy holiday, waiting to place the responsibility of handling and delivery of their late gift packets on someone else’s hands. Since this is my forum ( it is … Isn’t it? ) I think it is a good place to vent a little bit. “They” ( after 73 years, I still don’t know who “they” are ) say that putting one’s thoughts out there will make it easier to cope, as well as to visualize what or where a solution might be. But the truth is that I am not sure the “grievances” are about others and their issues or about my own shortcomings, if I am going to be honest. I am told constantly that as one gets older --yes, in this case, me-- all traits and qualitie...

Is that a real title? I don’t know. Probably not. As you can guess, I am trying very hard to get back on a “writing groove” -whatever that is- so as not to let far too much time go by between “appearances” on this “blog-stage” Surprisingly, these entries are creeping up to the 20,000-hit mark, since they were first started as a “filler-of-time-while-recuperating-from-cancer-and-other-assorted-issues” hobby. Yes, I do understand there are many bloggers who will get that many “hits” on a daily basis but hey, let me enjoy the moment. This blog was meant for a relatively small group of friends, who nicely told me they liked the way I wrote. They are/were also mostly from Cuba, the same as I, so the memories which were put on paper (Ok, digital paper!!) -although my own- were memories to which they could relate. And they did. That, combined with the fact that I spent then most days sitting or lying on my rehab bed, allowed me to give the blog the undivided time and effort it ne...

This morning I woke up with a heaviness in my mind and heart. I have been fairly busy lately, so it was assumed that perhaps this was the reason for this tired, but not quite tired feeling. Still in bed, but thinking about some strange, but unremembered dreams that have come along these past few nights and trying to make sense out of this whole scenario, I looked at my phone to see the time and noticed the date. October 18 th . The anniversary of my son Eric’s death as a result of an accident. Then I understood. In my heart I knew this was a special day, even if my mind – in its ever-ongoing effort of self-protection- chose to not recognize it right away. The years go by and blur into a non-distinct date and time. It becomes a moment, a late evening phone call with news no parent wants to hear or should have to hear. Is the hurt gone? No, not quite. Yes, time does have a way of lessening it, but it is an empty feeling that never goes, or will go away. Memories? Many...

I have been watching a TV series which features a writer as a primary character. A recurrent theme is the ( in )famous “writer’s block”. I can totally identify with that concept, since it has kept me away from my computer time and again. Lately, whenever there is an urge to sit and write anything, that writer’s block thingy pops up and nothing happens … It’s a real killer … Or … probably a much more honest appraisal would be ( at least in my situation ) a case of the “lazies” accompanied by a rather busy schedule. So, I guess we can call it a “lazy block”. This is a far more serious than a mere “writer’s block” because it affects the writing, the sitting, the thinking, the doing, the undoing, the wanting “to do or not to do” … Hey, is this last bit similar in scope to “to be or not to be”? Wow… if it is, I’m running in some heady circles!! It isn’t? … Aw shucks … And just when I was getting used to think about “deah” ( that’s “dear” to you, uninitiated Brits) “cousin Wil...

In my regular visits to the gym, I run into all kinds of people. There are the regulars, who go to do what they came to do and leave; I count myself among these. There are the socializers. These come to get together with other regular socializers, sit on one of the benches and talk. Then, there are the “I am here to be admired” group. Yep, you guessed it. The latest gym fashions and freshly coiffed hair, who do a couple of repetitions of whatever machine they fancy best, taking care not to mess the clothes or the hair. What do all of the above comments have to do with the picture or the title? Nothing. After a while, one gets to know most of the faces and, once in a while, there are new folks who come along; sometimes out of town visitors or, perhaps, just trying out the facilities. Yesterday as I began my walk, I fell behind the couple in the picture, folks I had not seen before. As I followed them for a while, it was clear they were in deep conversation and oblivious to...

There isn’t much going around right now other than politics and, although we have dabbed into that a couple of times in the past, that isn’t really what this blog is about. Years ago, in another time and life, I’d get up in the morning ready to take on the world. Play tennis, do some gym work and tackle the day with a full-frontal attack. Today, forget tennis… I still have a racket and a bag of tennis balls which are becoming rusty and somewhat deflated. The bag lies there in the dark closet in my office at home, until those times when one of our younger set members comes bearing his/her four-footed children. At that point, that bag of balls becomes handy and it gives up one or two of its well-guarded treasures so they can become the object of a chase and play game. If I ever manage to create a 3 on 3 tennis game ( me, being one of the third players, stationed semi-motionless at mid center court …) I may be able to play again. Otherwise… no comments, please. Sometime ...

A friend sent this piece to me and, after reading it, I can’t truly add or take away any of what is presented. I can only say I wish I had written it but then, its impact would not be what it is. It was penned by a 26-year-old, a so called “millennial", who is coming to understand the danger of populism. I do not know his name; I wish I did to give him/her proper credit. It can only be surmised from reading that he, or she, is a Florida resident. Would that this and other notes like it could find their way to the eyes and minds of many young people who, for the sake of going “against the establishment”, are willing to make important decisions without the benefit of different, or differing, viewpoints. I understand and know the dangers of wielding blind opinions; I was there once.  A long while ago, it seems. It reads: “I’m sitting in a small coffee shop near Nokomis (FL) trying to think of what to write about. I scroll through my newsfeed on my phone looking at the l...

There are moments when I truly feel that I am lost in the folds of time. Functioning within a slow-motion, somewhat off-color and loosely patched-together film. Yet, fascinating and sometimes difficult to watch because I am the primary player and I guess the unwitting or, perhaps, very willing scriptwriter and director. Looking through a discolored window into a sometimes foggy garden; a garden of life, my life. Moments, places, episodes, conversations, silences… There are many instances of this long passage included in this running blog ( lately, more of a “crawling” blog ) but when I look at the total picture, there is the realization that much has been relegated to forgetfulness. Because time deletes some of these memories. Perhaps because the mind will do the same, pushed by an encroaching inability to remember some of those details. I think this last may be an expression of subliminal and deliberate self-defense. Survival instincts. Early summer, many years ago… perhaps ...

There were times when an airport seemed to be my home away from home. So much so that, before the advent of the cell phone, my “snail-mail” ( the only one available at the time ) would wait for me at what was then the Eastern Airlines Ionosphere Lounge in Miami. Yes, waaay back then… The easiest way to “interconnect” destinations in Latin America was to come back to Miami and go from there to the new port-o’-call. - “Hi Mr. Alcazar…” would say the attendant at the lounge, with her best business smile… -“here’s some mail that came for you”. Services to the “business club” traveler was much better then than now… Why does this come to mind today, as I sit here far removed from the air highways of the world? A few days ago, I went to the local airport to wait for my wife who was coming back from a short vacation, spent with her sister and niece. When I say “local” airport, this doesn’t mean a one-flight-a-day wonder. Charlotte is considered among the top 5 traffic airpor...