I have been watching a TV series which features a
writer as a primary character. A recurrent theme is the (in)famous
“writer’s block”. I can totally identify with that concept, since it has kept
me away from my computer time and again. Lately, whenever there is an urge to
sit and write anything, that writer’s block thingy pops up and nothing happens
…
It’s a real killer …
Or … probably a much more honest appraisal would
be (at least in my situation) a case of the “lazies” accompanied by a
rather busy schedule. So, I guess we can call it a “lazy block”. This is a far
more serious than a mere “writer’s block” because it affects the writing, the
sitting, the thinking, the doing, the undoing, the wanting “to do or not to do”
… Hey, is this last bit similar in scope to “to be or not to be”? Wow… if it
is, I’m running in some heady circles!!
It isn’t? … Aw shucks … And just when I was getting
used to think about “deah” (that’s “dear” to you, uninitiated Brits) “cousin
Will”.
Anyway … back to the task at hand… there are a
couple of pages to be filled and at this rate it’s beginning to look like it
will be mid-winters’ night (OK… OK… I’ll stop with any more references to
cousin Will) before I do.
Sitting here and thinking about the many
characters that have come to life on these pages -and yes, most are real, a
very few being a product of my imagination but based on real people (most
notably my dear cousin/friend “Cheíto”)- the places visited or lived in and
all the (mis)adventures along the way, I wonder where to go next on these pages.
Some of these adventures were intended, some unintended. But equally interesting
and equally demanding. And highly disappointing and frustrating. On “a very
often basis”.
Most times, the written words which have “graced”
these entries, have been based on my own experiences. Memories from childhood,
“younghood”, early adulthood and, of course, stories which came out of attempts
to do business all over the world. First, as an ad-hoc “roving ambassador”,
trainer and corporate consultant within the life insurance world; later, as a
corporate “entrepreneur” to help create what all around me said could not be
done and then… well, then came a long haphazard
train ride with a rollercoaster tendency for which I was, truly, utterly
unprepared.
But this ride has brought me into a world that
simply doesn’t exist for the vast majority of people, providing for me a
fountain of material for the memory vaults and of course, for these entries. And,
dare I say it, some of the more interesting entries.
On the parallel side, there is a long narrative being
written (slowly… very slowly) about these adventures. From the beginning
to the end, and end which is still up in the air and not available. There is no
guarantee there will ever be one. Also,
there is no guarantee this narrative will see the light of day (or night,
for that matter) since long writing is not my forte.
I have come to realize that writing more than these
short entries takes a serious long-term commitment of continued time and
effort. There’s always been admiration and respect for those authors whose
books I have read. Their creativity, writing, content imagination, organization
and commitment is indeed amazing. I am in awe. Weeks, months, years totally immersed
into a project which may or not be accepted by others. Do I have what it takes
to do this? The honest answer is most likely, no, I don’t.
On a parting note to these ramblings, today
(well, yesterday) is(was) my birthday. And as I see one more year go by, with
all it may carry with it, there is a realization of a bittersweet feeling in
the air. Bitter for all that is yet not done and the realization that time
begins to take on a premium value.
Sweet, for all that the incredible things that have
indeed been done over the years. Some of the results may have not been all that could
have been wished, but the fact that the effort, time and intent to do was and
is always present, is a sweet feeling of being; of living. Of having lived.
I tell my students this all the time, so I will
end this entry with the same little piece of advice… Never give up on your
dreams. Always move forward and dare to think differently and to be different. Don’t become just a
follower.
Be Well … Be Back!!!
Final Notes:
· Pray for those who are fighting
an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is
heard, and counts!!
