In my
regular visits to the gym, I run into all kinds of people. There are the regulars,
who go to do what they came to do and leave; I count myself among these. There
are the socializers. These come to get together with other regular socializers,
sit on one of the benches and talk. Then, there are the “I am here to be
admired” group. Yep, you guessed it. The latest gym fashions and freshly
coiffed hair, who do a couple of repetitions of whatever machine they fancy
best, taking care not to mess the clothes or the hair.
What
do all of the above comments have to do with the picture or the title? Nothing.
After
a while, one gets to know most of the faces and, once in a while, there are new
folks who come along; sometimes out of town visitors or, perhaps, just trying
out the facilities. Yesterday as I began my walk, I fell behind the couple in
the picture, folks I had not seen before. As I followed them for a while, it
was clear they were in deep conversation and oblivious to the world around. I
don’t know whether they were recently married, or simply two people who, after
years of sharing a life, still felt close and intimately linked enough to one
another to walk hand in hand while talking. I believe the latter was the case.
It simply radiated this feeling.
Understanding
and sharing love, is a learned skill. Easy, don’t jump just yet. I know it is a
feeling, deeply rooted in its truest form. However, being able to fully accept
this feeling, to live it and to share naturally and openly with someone we love
is a learned skill. Some are fortunate enough to grow up in a home where this skill
is taught and nurtured, along with the feeling that allows it to be so learned.
Usually by a set example; this is not one of those “do what I tell you, not
what I do” kind of learning. Unfortunately, in today’s non-committal and overly
permissive society, this nurturing environment is being cruelly eroded.
Then,
there are everyday turns and twists which will chip away at the concept of total
commitment. Losses; life events that will critically maim the established roots
and create an “it-is-difficult-to-trust” mind-set; a love lost, a wrongly
placed trust.
Do I
believe in love?
Indeed, I do.
Has it been difficult for me to get to the stage
in life where I can feel total commitment?
Yes, it has.
I won’t go into the details
or reasons as to why or why not. The road has been long and, unfortunately,
quite unpaved and very rough at times. Yet, in the long run I have had, as most
of us come to have at some point, the opportunity to review and value those
many turns and twists. I cannot speak for you over here, or you over there. I
can only speak for myself. I can’t blame anyone for my mistakes. Nor can I -or
should you- carry the burden of these mistakes for a lifetime, allowing them to destroy the
good inside us. The ones that could be resolved, I have tried to and, in some
cases, succeeded; the ones that cannot be so addressed, have to be put aside in
order to move on.
Only
when your mind is without those extra negatives or guilt, it is that it can it set
itself free to commit. To experience and enjoy. It is never too late for this. I
have come to know and accept this; to experience it.
This
is why, when I see an older couple walking together, holding hands, expressing
their mutual love and trust openly, that they hold my utmost respect and admiration.
And my wish and prayer that they can continue to experience this beautiful mind/heart
connection for the rest of their time in this life.
And that
is my wish for you and your loved one as well.
Be
Well … Be Back!!!
Final Notes:
· Pray
for those who are
fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every
request is heard, and counts!!
