LEARNING TO FALL IS PART OF LEARNING TO LIVE

 LEARNING TO FALL IS PART OF LEARNING TO LIVE

Why failure, resilience, and getting back up are not optional skills

“… Growing, learning, and evolving is a lifelong process, and we must understand and accept this. If we are truly living, we never stop making mistakes and learning from them. If you have never fallen, you have never learned to get up and continue on. The moment we stop trying because of the risk of being wrong or the fear of what others may say, we have chosen to stop living."

The above is mine; I put it into quotes because it comes from something I wrote some time ago. A student read it yesterday, then he asked me what I meant by this statement.

Perhaps, with the experience of almost 8 decades of doing just that -falling and getting up- it was not difficult to add a few thoughts to that expression. The answer may seem simple, yet it is never simple. I have barely muddled through my own issues long enough to keep going; for keeping on, I must. The thoughts and ideas shared with others come from this ever-ongoing survivalist experiment we know as the journey of life.

Learning and growth begin at birth. In those first formative years, whether the child must help, work, study, or do a little of each, he or she will be in a protective bubble of sorts. This is created by the nurture and care given by the family and close family friends. As the “teen” years unfold, external elements begin to take shape and influence. Along with these early developments come the first tastes of failing or being hurt. The child’s (by now in the pre-pubescent age) reaction -positive or negative- will depend on what was learned in the initial formative years. The response will also depend on the continuing support of his immediate circle of family and friends.

Why is this stage of growth and learning so important?  I believe that if a young person does not learn to understand that failures in the course of living are not only a possibility, but a definite probability, when it does happen, as it will, more often than we may accept, that young man or woman will not know what to do. And the truth is that someone who never failed never had a chance to learn to get up and continue the fight.  

This learned quality, as we then face ever-growing challenges, becomes more important with the passing of time. These challenges we all face as we get older become more complex and difficult. And we must be prepared to face up to them.

Learning not to give up, not to be afraid of failure, and not to be afraid of what others will say if we fail are probably some of the most important lessons a young person can learn. Also, learning to have the courage and strength to say “NO” when necessary.

If we manage to acquire these important lessons ourselves and then pass them on to our children, we will be a strong force and, more importantly, we will be sending off a strong person into the world, someone who will not give up easily and who will continue to try, even in the face of failure. Someone who will continue to be his or her own person until the very end. Someone who will have lived a meaningful life.

After all, we are only stewards in this life, and that is our true job.