It is now about 15 minutes to midnight, on this the last day of the Year of the Lord, 2009. Since the sage say that one will spend the new year under the same conditions as the ones in which it is welcome, I guess I will spend some alone time throughout the year. It is just my computer, my phone, the television (One for the ages…Patty Page singing “Tennessee Waltz” – PBS, of course) and me. And yes, a glass of red wine.
By now, most everyone has made a mental list of the things which must be turned to reality sometime over the coming months. These will be made into a somewhat coherent list and duly be recorded as the “Resolutions for the New Year”. About 55% of them are repeat offenders and sort of the needed fill; within the other 45% are the ones that have the better chance at becoming a reality. Anyhow, this has become a yearly ritual, as have the burning of the old negative memories; if not, these may haunt you throughout the year to come. Write on a piece of paper those things you want the New Year deity to take away and burn them and the paper to ashes; that will make them go away. Or, if you prefer and if you live on or near a shoreline, put the same paper on a little floating piece of wood and watch it as the water takes it away. There go your problems, floating down the river or with the tide. I wonder if a swimming pool will do, if you have one and do not live near a shoreline.
There has never been a resolution list in my year ends past and I doubt very much there will be one in year ends to come. But there is always a mental review of what the past year has brought, the mistakes made (usually a larger than fair part of the memories) and those things which have contributed to my growth or betterment. As I sit here (now watching the Tymes do “It’s Wonderful”) and pass review of this past year, it actually comes up shining. No, I have not large amounts of “discretionary” funds to be spent; the place we call home is an apartment in an older home, but in a very nice neighborhood; do not have a car, but do have a dear friend who lets me use his car when he is out of town and, being a long haul driver, he is out a good deal of the time. We have never wanted for food, yet have not had much filet mignon. All these are definitive improvements on the year before, when I was truly down but never, ever, out.
In coming to this town, I had much faith and more hope yet. My life began to rebuild slowly, and when I was accepted by the Veterans Administration for the treatment of the several ailments that were attacking me, my personal health began a recovery road. I have had 3 surgeries in 2009; one minor, one medium and one major. Also, I was given radiation treatment for 9 weeks straight. As a result of these, where I could not walk before without a great amount of duress, pain and pain caused stress I now walk some 3 miles almost every day; I even began to go through the paces of playing some basketball while my grandson was visiting here. Beyond this, my PSA count was at 0.00 at last review. If you or someone close to you has had prostate CA, you know this is what tells you whether or not it is gone. The 0.00 tells us that it is gone, and I just know it will not return.
The word “Faith” was mentioned along the way. This is a very present and strong part of my make up. I have made many mistakes along the way, as life has insisted on happening. The more mistakes are made on my part, the more I come to realize there is a greater One who must be looking out for us dumb ones. It is He who lets me know I am not alone, even when there is no one around me; that I have the strength to make it through anything, even when I am at my weakest. That no matter how many times I fail to believe in my abilities, He continues to believe in me and that even in those times when I do not love myself, He always continues to love and nurture me. Am I going to preach? No, definitely not. This is only my humble testimony and it is freely given, since I have chosen to accept this as fact.
It is now 12:00 noon on the 7th day of January. I promise that this note was started at 11:45pm on New Year’s Eve. I stopped for a moment at 11:59 as I watched “The Ball” fall and announce the arrival of the new baby year and the departure of the “Old Man” year. This got me to thinking that life is a continuum which we insist in dividing into these little pockets of measurable time. Then we can always say that this next pocket will be better, or that such a year was the best. This probably makes the “bad” pockets along the way easier to manage.
Anyway, that momentary break became a 7plus day hiatus, unwilling and unplanned. My health took a turn into making me feel bad enough for a “pity Party”, and laziness took over. The result is a seven day hole in the blog; something I swore would never happen… yeah, yeah… Here we pick it up again. And I promise to go back and finish my PR years (after all, there were only two but… loaded!) starting with the next entry and then some postcards from the past.
Seven Days late, but as the old saying goes… “Better Late than Never…”
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010, AND I WISH FOR YOU AND YOURS A FANTASTIC YEAR, FULL OF PLENTY AND BLESSINGS.
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