Friday, August 24, 2012

Sepia Moments… and a Correction..


I will take care of the correction first: in this blog’s last entry, it was stated that we, as a country, are over 4 Trillion in debt… I WISH!!! … Actually, that was what president Bush accumulated over EIGHT Years… Our current White House denizen has managed to add well over 5 Trillion in just THREE and one half years… Not the picture of fiscal management that would be approved by a Board of Directors…

Now on to better things… When one hears the term “sepia” … What comes to mind? Most likely an old picture, a snapshot of something which was a moment in time… usually many years ago, often in a different part of the country or even, in a different country altogether. Sometimes of generations past…

When I look at my life, there are moments which will now take center stage without any hesitations or doubts; moments which I know were defining to my future but that, at the time, were perhaps deemed insignificant. The reason I say now is that before, the moments which would come to mind were usually “impressive” ones, but not necessarily defining.

How often do we go back in our minds and pick one spot; a moment in time which may have been happy and carefree or a moment of great loss and pain … a moment which we might have thought could not be survived. Then, as we reel forward, we understand that indeed it could be survived and, not only this, but that it actually provided us with a stronger base (if we chose to accept and learn instead of spending our time complaining) from which to deal with issues that came after.

These postings started originally due to a request to put into writing that span of time which included those days immediately before our coming to this country and then a few years into the future. As you can tell, if you have read all along, these  writings have metamorphosed into other areas. Going back to those days, no doubt that they were life defining but, in reality, that life changing decision made by our parents on our behalf was not made in one day, or one month… or even one year.
                          
I can, through deductive reasoning (boy… that sure sound smart don’t it?) and much thinking about many conversations had with exiled family friends while they were still alive, that this process began as early as 1960, 2+ years prior to my actual leaving. It seems it began with (like much in my life) my grandfather, who had a good eye for what was to come. He apparently understood that the so-called leader he as well as many others had supported while they were still in the mountains was nothing but a farce who wanted to control the country, in ways that were far beyond what any other dictator had ever done.

This decision was reaffirmed when the schools were closed … in order to continue to attend classes one had to belong to the militia … I did not join… then, late in 1961 I was put in jail for not having done so (collateral punishment, I suppose) and taking part in a catholic procession. I now know this was the final trigger to a long and -I will assume- painful decision process which would definitely change the life of all concerned, especially ours (my sister's and mine). Yet, at the time I was in that jail waiting for my parents to come and rescue me, all I could think about was being there and what would I say to my friends…

We all have sepia moments in life… an ever expanding list of them… some are being added today, we just don’t know it yet. Decisions made, decisions not made… relationships started, relationships not started… roads taken, roads avoided… words said, words not said… intents met, intents not met… moments of grand joy, moments of intense pain…

In the end and, as said before and more than once, the aggregate effect of these moments is what makes us into who we are now, for better or worse. I happen to believe it is always for better, not worse. 

Enjoy your moments, past and present … so you can then be ready to enjoy the future ones, whenever they come.

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:
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