Needs and Wants.

We live in a universe of needs and wants; these often define our lives and their interactions are more complex than meets the eye.

Yesterday, during a late ESL class (funny, how so very often what happens in those shows up in these…) that we veered away from the established class guidelines (you know, verbs and all that) and we started to talk about life. In English, of course.

As mentioned elsewhere in these entries, the folk who come to these classes are adults; people who truly must learn the language spoken in this country, so as to open up new doors and possibilities. Often, there come up the excuses about why “we could not do the homework”, etc… children, lack of time, long hours of work, tiredness at the end of the day… and all the usual. No, I do not make light fun of this; they are truly hard working Americans who happen to speak little or no English, and are trying to do something about this lack.

So, after the rounds of excuses, I decided to get away from the prescribed evening outline (as you can probably imagine, I often do this…) and embark into a discussion of needs and wants.

-“We live in a society that depends on sales and marketing in order to get ahead” I started… “We all sell something in order to survive”.

As expected, a couple piped up, loudly expressing the fact that “they did not sell anything” –“Maybe not directly” I answered but “you sell a product even if you are a salaried person”.

-“How so?” they countered.

-“Well, in order to be useful at your place of work and assure your staying there, you sell your presence, your knowledge and/or specific skills needed at that position… right?”

-“Yes, I guess so” they had to admit.

Once this was out of the way, we went into the concept of needs and wants. A very short iteration of a combination seminar/motivation presentation I used to give to sales people some years back. And back then I was even paid for doing it while having a lot of fun!!

We discussed their daily lives’ activities and it was the students’ agreement that basic true needs are, indeed, few: food, water, rest, habitation and a way to maintain these. The rest, we catalogued under “wants”. Some seem to be quite indispensible in our world, but remain wants. We would not cease to exist if these were not present. After some discussion, it was also agreed that in general we, as people, will spend our hard earned money on wants before we actually pay for some of the needs. This is not me talking, folks… these are the results of tendency studies done over the years, by people who are much more qualified than I to bring forth these concepts and conclusions.

Going back to the class. A comely young lady, from The Dominican Republic, sells cosmetics. We put this to discussion and she was adamant that these products represented a need for a woman.

-“Do you really think” I asked her “that a woman who is earning her money at a line job will pay you the equivalent of some 5-7 hours of work to buy a product because you tell her that “she needs them?”  I could see that a couple of students were beginning to understand the concept, and I asked one of them… “What do you think?”

He answered: “it is hard for me to accept that someone who makes barely above minimum wage will plunk down that much money just because someone tells her that she needs the product” –“OK” I said… “Then, if not that, what would be the reason that a woman would buy?”

-“She wants to look pretty?” ventured another female student… “BINGO” I said to her.  Then added, “Our saleslady here is not really selling lipstick or eye shadow… She is selling perceived beauty, as the result of using them”… “She managed, without realizing it, to put her wares into the “want” category, rather than the “need” category, which is less convincing”.

Having brought them around to where I needed them to be in order to make my point, I repeated some of their prior words. “You all told me that you “needed” to learn English, but at the same time gave me all types of excuses to let me know why there are innumerable barriers to accomplish this”.

-“Let me tell you”, I added… “as long as you look at this learning process as something you “need to do”, it is nothing but just one more chore in a life already filled with chores”. Then I added “You will never bring yourself to do what needs to be done. The day you truly pass this to the “want” column and accept that you want to learn English, not just that you need to, then the study time will appear and most –if not all- of the excuses will disappear, as if by magic…”

As the class was dismissed, several of the students –including our saleslady- came to the front to tell me how they understood what the message was. How “learning English” would now be put into a want column, rather than a need column.

Every day we make choices that are loosely based on this concept and we don’t even think about them much; our list of desires has to be analyzed every so often. We have to be sure that those items that need to be in the “want” column are put there, and not just relegated to the “need” column. We will tend to reach those goals seen as really wanted, before we do reach those that are just “needed”. In fact, the ratio is almost 2-1. So… check those goals which are truly important to you; put them into the want column of your life… I promise you that your efforts will double and will be rewarded.

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:

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