Pandora's Other Box: Did You Ever...

Wish you had had a different life?

Wish that daily living had not been so… difficult at times?

Wish that some events had not happened?

Wish that some events had happened?

Wish to be able to take back something said, or done?

Wish to get up just one morning free of worries and problems?

Wish to have a better employ?

Wish to have more funds at your disposal?

Welcome to the rest of the world. There are few of us (self included) who have not had one or more… or all of the wishes above at one time or another. Perhaps I could say without straying too much from the truth that the list above is far shorter than a list most of us could write, when honestly looking at the subject matter.

It is our blasted human side which always seems to be looking elsewhere for a possible satisfaction of our wants and needs, when the only place we need to look is inside ourselves. No, most of us do not have all answers… damn few actually. Yet, there is a starting point for every honest self look: what we have and what we have not. Or, to put it in other words: Who we truly are and who we truly are not. If we manage to accept a reality on this issue, even if one which we do not like, then that which we are is a starting point from where we could, possibly, add or subtract qualities over a period of time.

In this area, the eastern philosophies have it all over our culture. The drill of immediacy is so ingrained in us by the sell machinery we are subjected to every day, that the concept of actually waiting and preparing oneself for a better enjoyment of life, one that really matters within the inner core of the person, is inconceivable. All that is the inner person is forgotten in the pursuit of very superficial moments. It takes a lifetime to learn that material things are like the evening tide… they come and go. Yes, we can enjoy them when we have them but in losing them, we are not really facing the end of a life. Just the beginning of a new one which, when all is said and done, could well be much better than the last one. It all really depends on how well one is prepared to affront the new reality.

Those who have come to a threshold of a potential death situation and have battled back successfully, understand that this is so. The car so relished before the watershed, becomes a simple vehicle; designer clothes are no longer that important to have and proclaim; the huge, often empty trophy house/mansion is changed for a smaller dwelling which can be filled with the presence of one or two individuals, especially when there is a good relationship present (whether with oneself or between two people) ; it is no longer that “cool” to be seen in the “right “ places or with the “right” people, since these last you now realize are as lost as you were before… The never ending need to be recognized as “important” is no longer there and you know why? Because you have, by then, come to fully understand and accept you are important, regardless of someone else’s opinion which becomes, well… unimportant.

What is to be noted in this new state of mind, are those moments in which one is able to sit and hold a “conversation” with self. Don’t scoff; sometimes these could be the most intelligent conversations you may have had. As long as they are based on truth… for there are always those who think that lying to self is something which can actually be done… guess what… it cannot. Reality, in all its ugliness, will eventually catch up; always.

If this self truth can be actually contemplated, then there is a new awareness in your life and a new sense of wellbeing; I cannot say that all mysteries and questions will be revealed or answered; just enough to let you know that it is OK not to know, that it is OK for you to be at peace with yourself and not always in contention with self; that it is important to really enjoy the walk and the way and not just anticipate enjoying the eventual goal, for you may not get there. In fact, most of us do not really ever “get there”, but are constantly walking and choosing paths in life; enjoy these paths for they represent what life is to each and every one of us. Sometimes sunny, sometimes under cloudy skies; at times crossing a soft cool stream and at others wading a stormy torrent; sometimes bordered by beautiful flowers at other times by spiny thorns but, no matter which is, it is one’s life and it is to be taken in full and enjoyed.

Then, what was the eventual goal fades and every step taken becomes an actual goal achieved. It is a great feeling. It evolves into a life well lived and a road well traveled.

Be Well… Be Back!!