Sunday, January 20, 2013

Readjustments.


“To become capable of dealing with a new situation or environment or feeling comfortable in it”

A lifetime ago a then friend (he was one of many personal “assets” lost to a messy divorce…) told me that he thought I had a “rubber ass”. When questioned on this somewhat abnormal perception, he simply said… -“It seems every time you fall on it… you just bounce back up”.

Thinking back over many years, there have indeed been many situations when  after having fallen right on my “arrears” yes… I had managed to come back up and rejoin the fight. The only thing is… as one gets older this becomes a more difficult accomplishment and it seems that each time it takes just a little longer to gather the energy for that bounce back, and that the aches also last a little longer. And not just the physical aches.

I have to admit that in the 62 years prior to my coming to stay with my brother I had never felt so far out of the race… so far out of the possibilities. Let’s face it… untreated cancer on the one hand…. an almost fused hip that was totally unwilling to rotate more than 2 inches in any direction and which shot a painful stab through my right side every time I dared put any weight on it… no work, no funds to speak of, the efforts of some ten years, including my marriage, seemingly gone down the drain… and without the ability to get any immediate medical help for my aches and pains.

However, there was one inner asset which was always with me and which, at a time like this, became a lifesaving asset… nothing physical, nothing monetary… just a memory. The mind and heart filling memory of the man who had formed my early years and while doing so, taught me never to give up. Not by preaching, but by leading a life that was a constant sample of the meaning of this. My grandfather, the man who had been my de-facto father and childhood -actually- lifelong role model.

Once living with my brother I had many occasions to talk with him and to reminisce about our family in Cuba, and to learn more about the last 15 years of the life of my grandfather, since it was Pepe who became the “keeper” of sorts of a man who, in getting older and physically feebler, continued to be a man to emulate. Even after losing all he had worked to accomplish, when the government came in to take away his businesses, he continued on… never gave up and never gave in to despair.

The only time in his life he seemed to give up was when his wife of 50+ years died, after having been lost for some years to that mental fog which allows a person to forget all the unjust and unexplained pain lived, all the losses, all those dear people who had gone away not to come back. It was only after my grandmother died that my grandfather seemed to finally accept that, perhaps, it was time to go as well… He died only a couple of months afterwards. I think her death was a final blow which took away all he had left, after surviving through all the accumulated pain and suffering.

Could I be any less than this man whose memory and teachings had helped me through many difficult moments? No, I could not.

This definitive decision, however, is a lot easier said than accomplished…

I had a leg up on that new start however. I was with my brother, someone whom I had regained a mere ten years before when my wife and I brought him out of Cuba, through Colombia. Just being with blood family, a feeling I had lost too many years before, was enough to help me start the process of what needed to be done, what had to be accomplished.

My life, simply, had to be put back on track. I had to “inject” some of the lost resilience into my rubber butt-end once again in order to bounce back and move forward.

So it would be. A somewhat longer road “to recovery” would be walked again.

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:
  • Pray for those who are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard, and counts!!
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  • Any comments please send to otherboxp@yahoo.com
  • “La Otra Caja de Pandora”… The Spanish language Blog… “otracaja.blogspot.com”Bienvenidos!!!

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