Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Not About Buenos Aires…

Buenos Aires on hold. It will come back in other segments, but this came to mind today after receiving a note from a dear friend who. like myself, has had to deal with an unwanted visitor.



The BsAs stay will take somewhat longer to cover than initially anticipated; there are too many issues stemming from those 4 years and it would be unfair to simply gloss over them. On the other hand, while important to this “blogger”, too much of a good thing can lead to boredom in others… so it will be continued over a number of staggered blogs.

There is also another reason for this change of immediate direction. This past weekend was the 4th of July weekend and, while it means many things to most of us, it usually revolves around vacation times for some, small neighborly picnics for others and, of late, watching the televised hotdog eating contest for still another group.  This last comes to show that TV is really running out of things to broadcast.  Yes, we had our picnic at a friend’s house, pool volleyball and all, and a good time was had; only marred by the fact that we had an early adjournment in order to be ready to go to work this morning.

I also received a note from a good friend, from whom I had not heard in some time. Like myself, she has dealt –and continues to deal- with cancer. This is not the point; many deal with this little “friend” and some with less overall luck than we have had. While undergoing treatment at the cancer clinic at the beginning of this process, I had the chance to meet and talk with many who were there for the same reason as I. There was a definite pattern in the conversations, and the different versions in this pattern had much to do with the mental attitude of the individual patients. I met a lady, wheelchair bound, who had an aggressive form of the disease. She could barely whisper and yet, she never ceased to smile, whispering away encouragement to others who had simply resigned themselves to be blown over by the rampaging cells. These folk were usually willing to talk, but not to fight. Some would not even talk, blaming all and everything else for their misfortune. Years ago, my first contact with cancer was that of my then sales manager, a strapping six footer in his early 50’s who could charm anyone. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer and became a wheelchair bound shadow of his former self in less than 4 months. I do not know the details and perhaps this is an unfair signaling, but he simply gave up and in mentally. After walking a similar illness path, I have come to realize that giving up will definitely open the doors for creating a much worse scenario than it may actually be.

We can take care of our physical selves, but we cannot actually eliminate the normal degenerative process of our bodies, Botox notwithstanding.  Cancer is, as are many other aggressive diseases, an unwanted and often painful acceleration of this process. We and our medical advisers do all that is possible to manage a semblance of controlling this physical issue; sometimes more successfully than others. However, there is an incredible power that we hold, which goes well beyond any medicine which can be administered: the power of our minds.  It can easily make matters much, much worse if allowed to run unchecked.  However, if our attitude is positive and full of expectations, our mind will create an internal environment where the body’s own healing potential is exponentially increased.

My friend who wrote the note, refuses to have this disease dictate her life. Yes, there have been and most likely there will be difficult moments, but not insurmountable.  Yes, we can also die as the result of complications, but the most important lesson learned along the way is that every minute lived is to be enjoyed and each one takes on a meaning of its own. The lady at the treatment center was a shining light for many who, themselves, had a much lesser affliction. My old sales manager simply seemed to have given up and, in the process, accelerated his own parting.  The stories are myriad… during this process our own attitude will not only help us (or hurt us), but will also help our loved ones and close friends and family deal with this issue.

Our mind is an incredible instrument yet to be fully understood. All I know is that, for me, it has been an incredible ally in difficult moments, helping me to cross these otherwise   too big to cross gaps. And yes, I do firmly believe that I was not alone in these crossings. There was always, and is, an unseen but strongly felt spiritual presence which has always been my companion.

Life is to be lived; not just survived.

Be Well; Be Back

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