 |
| Eric Charles Alcazar 09/19/1978 - 10/18/2011 |
He
had just turned 33 years old, his birthday being the day after my own 65th
… a wonderful birthday present many years ago; grown into a man-child who had
just recently begun to experience the possibilities of looking ahead, and to
dare think that his troubled world would permit him these illusions.
As
a young man, many issues and inner demons brought him often to the brink of
desperation and well into the realm of frustration and depression. Yet, he
always managed to remain a loving child, who simply craved that someone would
care for and love him in return. The time we spent overseas, when he was in
grammar school, was a time he always cherished, actually maintaining contact
with a dear friend over the years.
As
time went on he grew into a young man who, while encountering even more inner
issues with which to contend, tried very hard to be accepted by and be acceptable
to his peers. This was a very difficult process, being he a basically shy
person who was convinced, for reasons only known to him, that he did not
deserve this camaraderie. Eventually, after years of painful trial and error
management … mostly errors, he decided to face his inner demons and try and
wrest his life back into his own hands. It wasn’t easy, the process was one
which asked him to bear his soul and perhaps, he wasn’t quite ready for the
first few weeks. With the coaxing of his mentors and of us, his family, he did
finally embrace the healing process and began the long, taxing road back into taking
over his own life.
He
was so proud when he finally got his plumbing license!! “Look … It’s mine
… I did it all by myself!” … he loved to work outdoors, to be in touch with
nature; a trait learned from his grandmother, who from the time he was a baby,
became her project and her loved child. I am firmly convinced her ministrations
as well as her unconditional love and prayers, were the catalysts that
eventually brought him back to us.
In
another recent post, never for a moment thinking that this day would come, I
mentioned that my pride of him was and will forever continue to be, immense. In
life, he went to the gates of addiction hell, faced the demons and was able to
come back, fighting them to a functioning draw. A draw which would allow to go
on with his life and to begin to scale that mountain which for most us is
difficult enough; for him, it was like trying to scale Mount Everest with one
leg tied … but he never gave up. I don’t know whether or not he reached his
personal top, his pinnacle. But he came to understand that the fight itself was
what made it all worth while and what would decide his being able to go on.
Sometime
ago, we met for lunch; he was very proud of the fact that he was able to invite
me, the result of his hard work. We sat and, as I was going to order a glass of
wine, I remembered and changed to tea … “Don’t be silly and have the wine” he
said … then he smiled that beautiful smile of his and added … “I am the one
with the problem, not you!” With that I understood he had indeed come a long
way.
Thank
you son for sharing your, unfortunately, too short life with us. During these
past years, as you became more at ease with yourself, we all came to know the
Eric those who loved you always knew was there; caring, loving, warmhearted,
willing to help others, funny and sarcastic and quick with that bright half
smile which always seemed to question
whether you had the right to smile. You more than earned the right to
smile son.
Life
was not kind to you, yet it –try as it might- could not dampen the love in your
heart. You were tested often and harshly at times; yet you were able to fight
and pass those tests with flying colors … My pride in your accomplishments will
never cease.
Holding
on to my faith as a lifesaving vehicle, I ask that Our Father has received you
in His hands with open arms, in love and peace. That same love
and that same peace you earned and so richly deserved and that you were never
quite able to attain amongst us, try as we might.
Go
In Peace son… with our blessings and our undying love.
No comments:
Post a Comment