Monday, September 24, 2018

Steel claw in a silk glove.


In life we deal with many issues. Some are run of the mill, some are not, and others fall into that “more difficult to manage” status; often, we don’t really know how to go about dealing with these.
 Thinking about this yesterday, while thinking about a situation that was developing, the title line of this entry came to mind.

- “You must wield a steel claw covered by a silk glove”

It was late 1973 and I, living then in Connecticut, had started working with a young life insurance company out of Miami, as an independent agent. This was the first time I came across a fully prepared (canned, literally) sales process. The government had recently passed a law allowing individuals to purchase a retirement account which could be qualified, just like a pension plan, for deductions of the premiums from the income tax basis. The company had an average product with an outstanding presentation.

We carried around a self-contained machine, which showed a full 18-minute story as to why the viewer should not only rush to get this qualified plan, but gave him/her little choice… My job was to present them with the short movie and, when finished, simply ask two questions…
- “Isn’t this a marvelous idea for your future financial wellbeing?”
And…   
-“would you like to start your own tax deductible savings program with $25, $40 or $50 per month?”

This presentation was so effective, we came to call the closing “the steel claw dressed in silk”. The silk made the presentation warm, soft and non-threatening but, once the “claw” got into you, it simply would not let go.

I thought about this yesterday while mentally going over several issues, and one in particular, which have taken place over the last few weeks. Some were problems and/or consequences that had to be faced, others were emotional issues and no less demanding. In fact, these were easily the more difficult to handle.

The analogy came to me that, as we sail (well, OK, crawl along) through life, we must develop a mindset to manage the more difficult moments and decisions which in many ways is like that steel claw. When dealing with these issues and the people who are involved, there has to be a level of empathy, warmth and understanding. This is the silk cover. Non-threatening, listening, fuzzy warm.

Yet, when the actual “bone of contention” is identified, the mind must act like a steel claw. Clamp on to it and don’t let go, until a resolution is accomplished, or a decision is made. The years lived have taught me many things (I give them that, at the very least, they  have constantly tried to); and understanding that not all have been “good” teachings, those which can help me become a better person well … should be listened to.

A most important one is that when an issue that bears attention comes up, it must be attended. To do this the right way, the mind has to first identify, listen and determine what the cause of the problem may be and, once it’s identified, act like that “steel claw” that will not allow its pray to get away. Whether it is a business or a personal decision, it must be given full attention and resolution.

Will it always bring the desired results? Guess what? ... Sorry, not guaranteed.

And remember; although leaving an issue to solve itself may be a viable solution at times, in more cases than not it will not be the best road to follow. Even this non-action decision requires an evaluation of the true core of the problem and the understanding of the outcome probabilities of “not doing”.

It’s easier to sidestep the tough decisions and we have all, at one time or another,  been guilty of that. It’s just less confrontational to slide through than to face the “enemy at hand” head on. Yet, when we do this, it then tends to become a bigger, more damaging situation and much more difficult to control.

Hence, the silk and steel claw. We can’t get away from making those tough decisions. At least not intentionally. But to be able to make them in the best possible manner, we do have to train ourselves to have as tough as possible a mindset; to be honest with ourselves and to know enough to have a trusted person or persons who can be of help in those occasions when we don’t feel up to the task.

Or when we think or feel we can’t be clear minded and fair because it is a personal decision which may involve ourselves or someone close. Part of that “steel claw” , set on an automatic pilot of sorts, should openly review and question your own mind process on a regular basis as it may analyze issues relating to others. When you can make that happen, then you will know you have as honest a mind as you could possibly have, capable of looking fairly at the issues at hand.

Still … no guarantees!!

Be Well … Be Back!!!

Final Notes:
·       Pray for those who are fighting an illness which may take them away from their loved ones… Every request is heard and counts!!
·       Visit www.englishnow.info
·       Any comments please send to rjalcazar@gmail.com

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